mardi 22 avril 2008

Happy birthday to you, Miss President... (avec la voix de Marilyn, que j'imite à s'y méprendre)

Elle avait déjà la beauté, la gloire, les balançoires, l'influence, les chaussures Céline, le téléphone à poils rose, les courses de ballons sauteurs...



... les combats de chameaux, les ascensions sacrées, les poissons multicolores, THE chaussures trop mignonnes, la coupe de cheveux qui tue, l'humour de Louis de Funès...



...un plaid en rat muslu, une sacrée paire de frères, un chéri à Versailles, ce qu'il faut d'Hermès, les flambys, l'homme orchestre, le pyjama panthère de se marraine...



....un papa bricoleur, des papiers de twix sur le mont Moïse, une pintade à New York, du heese cake plein son sac Céline...

Oui mais voilà, aujourd'hui, nous sommes le 22 avril 2008, et l'heure de la sentence a sonné. Depuis trente années, elle prépare son entrée, et le monde ne va même pas comprendre ce qui lui arrive...

Elle a 30 ans aujourd'hui, et j'espère pour toi que tu le sais, parce que

POUR SES TRENTE ANS, ELLE VEUT UN BLOG ET DES DIAMANTS!!!!!!!!


Alors t'as le choix, c'est les diamants, ou le blog, ou des trucs affreux et pas assortis pour toi, ta famille et tes animaux de compagnie (lapins inclus) pour 7 générations, tellement révoltants d'indécence que je les tairai ici, afin d'éviter à mon lectorat après tout adoré des nausées convulsives, attaques foudroyantes ou défenestrations.


Joignez vous à moi pour souhaiter un excellent anniversaire à cette éblouissante apparition, à cet émouvant parangon de grâce à faire pâlir les canons de la renaissance italienne (hé oui, c'est pour ça qu'elles sont pâles, les italiennes ont le teint mat d'habitude!), ce puits de science, ce luminaire céleste (heu non, ça c'est Rabbi Jacob), bref la femme de ma vie, l'inénarrable, l'ineffable, so breathtakingly stunning Sandrine (où est l'écriture à paillettes quand on en a besoin? sur ma liste de courses? a oui c'est vrai, c'est mon erreur).

dimanche 13 avril 2008

A tale of two raindrops, A story over the SEA (Solitudes Etrangères Aléatoires)


Once upon a dream, in a world too wide and too wilde for such a story to actually happen, lived two little raindrops. They were just two, out of the billions raindrops out there, no bigger, no wiser than the other raindrops, but both quite incredibly unique.
One of them was just as shiny as a treasure. The light when it caressed its soft surface turned into golden rays and started to sparkle, then flew back to the sky to fill it in hundreds of star seeds that would shine all through the night.
The other one was so similar it could almost have been its twin. It was in fact a baby raindrop, still so fearless and unaware, and laughed loudly each time the wind came to dance with it, filling the clouds with hundreds of light and clear bells.

In the black night of a silver white winter, the treasure and its twin babe met in a city of lights. It was a very cold day for a drop, but both of them wanted to stay out. The wind was silent and the stars seemed far away, but the whole city was singing and shining on that very holy day. When they met, the golden drop sparkled with pleasure and the small one was so happy it couldn't help dancing around. They matched so perfectly that they instantly decided to stay close, so they could prevent each other from freezing.

Sadly a few days later, the winter discovered that our two drops were still together and warm. The winter wants every single raindrop turned into a snowflake... It was so mad to find out that two little drops felt strong enough to refuse submission, that it asked the wind to blow them apart. And the wind, who is a good friend of winter, blew them apart.

The golden drop landed somewhere in the egyptian desert. There the sky was always blue, and the night so filled with stars, that the golden drop could have sparkled forever like a diamond. It was the perfect place for a treasure, and many other treasures had been sparkling there for thousands of years. But all the treasure drop could see was a desert, empty and dry as a prison. The sun was starting to burn its surface, the sand kept hitting it. Never had the drop felt lonelier.
"What is the point of sparkling, if you are not dancing in the light of my smile, thought the treasure while thinking of its twin. Please, don't let me dry there, i'm so afraid of drying far away from you".

The dancing drop landed somewhere near the coasts of Britanny. The weather there was always winndy, and there were baby drops everywhere. The baby drop could have spent years and years dancing with the wind there, and playing with little friends. It was a famous place for drops who wanted to make friends. But all the the baby drop could see was a crazy ballet of drops, crowded and wet as a prison. The wind kept throwing the baby drop up against other drops, none of which ever sparkled. Never had a drop felt lonelier.
"What is the point of dancing, if i'm not dancing in the light of your smile, thought the baby drop while thinking of its treasure. Please, don't let me drown in the crowd, i'm so afraid of drowning away from you".



Both rain drops were as sad as you can imagine. Every night before they went to bed, they prayed to the sky and begged for its help.
Through the grey clouds of britanny, the baby drop prayed to the shiniest star:
"Please shiny star, take me with you up there so i can see my treasure again, you'll light the desert for me, and i'll see it sparkle. Then i'll just ask the wind to take me there, and we'll sparkle together forever
- A raindrop isn't meant to sparkle, answered the star, a raindrop is meant to fall."

In the deep silence of the desert, the golden drop prayed to the wind:
"Please singing wind, take me with u up there so i can see my babe again. You'll blow in the grey clouds, and i'll see my babe dance to your music. Then you will just take me there, and we'll dance together forever.
-A raindrop is not supposed to dance, a raindrop is supposed to fall".

And so passed the nights, darker and darker, and the stars and the wind kept giving the same answer. A raindrop is supposed to fall, a raindrop is meant to fall...

Yet some night, a night deeper than the other, something quite unexpected happened.
In britanny, the wind silently left the sky and took the clouds with him. The sky was dark blue and golden, just like an arabian legend.
Over the desert, the wind started to blow from the west coast. it was fresh and salty, and carried the powerful storms from the ocean.
Both drops woke up at the same time and saw each other so close they felt just as one. they were used to dreaming of each other, so once more, they went back to bed and whispered silentely:
"I must have fallen asleep again".
And the stars and the wind replied together
"No little drop, you fell because it's your destiny to fall. But you didn't fall asleep like the other children, and you didn't fall from the sky like the other drops. You fell in love little treasure, you found your twin."